Mother not always the best nurturer
2010/10/17A MEDIATION bureau comprising a panel of experts, including child and marriage counsellors, will be a better alternative to settling divorce cases than going through the courts.
The Association Against Parental Alienation Kuala Lumpur and Selangor (Pemalik) says putting children through the trauma of a custody hearing and subsequently denying them access to one parent is a form of abuse that needs to be addressed.
“If the interest of the child is paramount, then couples heading for a divorce need to first meet a panel of experts to reach an amicable settlement over issues such as custody, finance, education and the child’s upbringing before the divorce is formalised by the courts,” says Pemalik president R.S. Ratna.
He says the practice of courts usually awarding full custody of a child to the mother on the assumption that she is a better nurturer may no longer be applicable as many fathers have proven to be responsible parents as well.
Pemalik strongly believes that every child has the right to access his parents.
“Every child wants to love and be loved equally by both parents. They should not be denied that right unless their safety is at stake,” he says , adding that in most instances, one parent will alienate the other by “brainwashing” the child into believing that the other parent is bad.
“The biggest losers are always the children. It is painful enough for them to acknowledge that their parents are going through a divorce but to drag them to court for the custody battle is even more traumatic.”
Endless litigation by lawyers on both sides also adds to the problem.
There must be a better system.”