How to Save Your Child and Yourself From the Effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

How to Save Your Child and Yourself From the Effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

By
Dr. Reena Sommer

Anyone one who has experienced or witnessed a child’s outright rejection of a parent with whom they once shared a reciprocally warm, loving, nurturing relationship will understand how devastating the effects of parental alienation syndrome can be. Perhaps more painful than experiencing a son or daughter’s rejection is watching that child’s own sense of confusion, bewilderment and grief mount through a denial of a parent’s love and a bond that developed from birth.

The devastating effects of parental alienation syndrome are multi-dimensional and the consequences for PAS affected children reach far beyond their immature and short sighted understanding of their relationships and existence. Sadly, these children have been unwittingly betrayed and victimized by a parent whom they love and upon whom they depend. When parental alienation syndrome takes hold, children affected by parental alienation syndrome come to understand that their own self worth and needs are meaningless. This message becomes implicitely and subconsiously imprinted when the one person responsible for nurturing them (their alienating parent) is the one who is also responsible for robbing them of their sense of self, their heritage and the love of the other parent. An important subtheme to this message is that PAS affected children also come to understand that the love and obedience they have for one parent is dependent upon their rejection and vilification of the other parent.

It must be understood that parental alienation is a form of child abuse. While at this time, most cases of parental alienation syndrome are not associated with many accounts of physical abuse, emotional abuse is prevalent and most predominant. Because the alienating parent is usually very adept at displaying what appears to be loving and nurturing conduct, parental alienation syndrome can be characterized as well as “BOND ABUSE”. By that I mean, the alienating parent uses qualities of nurturing to feed and sustain the relationship between the alienating parent and child but also to destroy the relationship between the child and the other parent (targeted parent).

Continue reading How to Save Your Child and Yourself From the Effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

How to Counteract Parental Alienation

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How to Counteract Parental Alienation

By: Ben Stevens

If you are a victim of parental alienation, there are steps that you can take to protect your child, yourself, and your rights. One of the first things you should do is to consult an experienced child custody attorney to discuss your situation. Experts suggest the following ways to counteract parental alienation:

  • Try to control your anger. Stay calm and in control of your own behavior
  • Keep a log of events as they happen, describing in detail what happened and when
  • Always attempt to pick up your child as scheduled, even when you know the child won’t be show up
  • During time spent with your child, focus on positive activities and the good times you have together
  • Never discuss the court case with your child
  • Improve your parenting skills by taking parenting courses, reading parenting books, etc. to be the best possible parent to your child
  • If possible, get counseling for your child, preferably with a therapist trained to recognize and treat parental alienation syndrome and/or go to counseling yourself to learn how to react to and counteract the problem
  • Don’t do anything to violate any court orders or otherwise be an undesirable parent
  • Don’t react to the alienating behavior by engaging in alienating behavior toward the other parent
  • Pursue a contempt action if you are not receiving your court-ordered time with your child

If you do nothing and allow the other parent to continue the alienating behavior, things will not get better, and they will likely get much worse for both you and your child. Remember, Albert Einstein once said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

7 Steps to Combat Parental Alienation

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7 Steps to Combat Parental Alienation

Parental alienation can feel like a hopeless situation. When you find yourself cut off from your child because of your ex’s manipluation, you can’t help but wonder: “Will I ever reunite with my ‘lost’ child?”

Don’t despair. You can regain a loving relationship with your child. In this second installment of my exclusive firstwiveswordseries on parental alienation, you’ll get tools to navigate this challenging process.

Your patience and understanding will help your child see what is going on — eventually. In the meantime, you have to be strong and persistent. That doesn’t mean simply waiting for that magical “a-ha” moment. Instead, take these important steps:

1. Don’t take the bait.Your child may often come to you filled with accusations and anger. If you try to debate every petty flare up, you will only fuel the contentious flames. Avoid small battles and focus on building memorable moments together. If your child levels serious charges that you can counter — proof, for example, that you didn’t steal the college fund — offer to show him documentation, but ONLY if you are asked.

2. Hold yourself to the highest standard of conduct.Manage your anger. Pay your bills. And follow the law. Don’t give your ex anything that can be used against you by either your kids or the courts. Imagine that you are being videotaped and behave accordingly. Sure, it’s unfair that your ex gets to bend — even break — the rules and still receive your child’s glowing praises. But you need to focus on your ultimate goal: A loving and healthy relationship with your child.

What Can You Do About Parental Alienation?

What Can You Do About Parental Alienation?

Most of us have seen a friend or family member’s marriage go bust in a bitter divorce. Sometimes the couple’s children are victims in their parents’ ongoing conflict long after the break-up. One parent, often the primary caregiver, may influence the kids to take sides and subtly turn them against the other parent.

 

Undermining the kids’ relationship with the other parent, even unintentionally, damages children’s emotional and psychological well-being and is contrary to the Family Law Act. This phenomenon is called “parental alienation” and may lead to children not wanting to see or have anything to do with that other parent. When a child’s previously close relationship with both parents turns sour with one parent without good reason, that’s a hallmark of parental alienation.

Our B.C. Supreme Court recently had to deal with parental alienation. Colin and Claire (all names changed) had two kids, Mary and Becky, born in 2000 and 2002. The couple separated in 2008 and divorced three years later. Both parents were intelligent and capable individuals who loved their children, and they agreed to equal parenting arrangements. The court subsequently gave them joint custody and joint guardianship of the kids and ordered a three-day alternating parenting schedule, later changed by Colin and Claire to a five-day alternating schedule.

These arrangements worked well initially, but over time the kids became increasingly reluctant to spend time with their dad. One example: in late 2011 when Claire dropped Becky off to see Colin, Becky ran back to her mom’s car, buckled herself in and refused to come out for half an hour despite her dad’s pleading. By 2013, when Colin was to pick the girls up from a church drop-off, or was to take them after school, he couldn’t because they ran away. They also refused to see him during a court-ordered holiday access. When interviewed by a psychologist, both children expressed strong negative views of their father, but positive ones of their mother.

Colin thus asked the court for a “custody reversal order” and other orders to help resolve the problem. Continue reading What Can You Do About Parental Alienation?

What a Targeted Parent can do with a Obsessed Alienator

What a Targeted Parent can do with a Obsessed Alienator

Copyright 1998 by Douglas Darnall, Ph.D.

Caution: The term obsessed alienator is a description of a pattern of behavior and is not a diagnosis.

Parents dealing with an obsessed alienator often feel at the end of their ropes with frustration, anger or rage, hurt, and may feel powerless.

However, it is important that a targeted parent:

  • Don’t give up on your children.
  • Keep your anger and hurt under control. Losing control only fuels the alienating parent.
  • Don’t retaliate.
  • With your attorney, be sure the court continues to support your parenting time. The only excuse for terminating parenting time is if there are allegations of abuse or threats to the children’s safety. If you are being falsely accused of abuse, cooperate with the investigation and insist on supervised visits rather than no visits.
  • Don’t stop going trying to pick up your children for your parenting time. If the other parent refuses, keep showing up unless the court order says otherwise. I realize this can be painful. Also, to get hostile towards your ex in your children’s presence will only make matters worse for everyone.
  • Keep a log of your activities.
  • Focus on keeping your relationship with the children positive. Don’t pump your children for information or cause your own alienation.
  • Don’t wait to intervene when you start having problems. Many times problems with alienation will occur when you or your ex starts getting serious in a new relationship. If there is a problem, contact your attorney.
  • Get a court order requiring you and the other parent to get into family therapy. The therapists will need to determine if the child or children need deprogramming. The therapist doing the deprogramming needs to be a different therapist than the one working with the parents. The reason is to prevent problems with trust between the parent and therapist.
  • The Alienator and his or her supports (spouse and extended family) may need to be part of the therapy and be educated about alienation and their role in the problem. At this point, the therapist has to be a salesperson in order to engage them in trying to resolve the alienation. I have learned that a new spouse and grandparent can destroy any progress that the parents make in therapy.
  • Monitor your own behavior so you don’t begin alienating. Know the symptoms.
  • If the problem continues, try understanding what the other parent is reacting to without getting defensive. Then, if necessary, try to talk openly about what you are seeing and feeling (feedback model). If the problem continues, the alienating parent may need to consider therapy.
  • Don’t violate court orders.
  • Don’t violate civil laws.  Do not “stalk” the other parent, or threaten or use physical force in an effort to see your children
  • There needs to be a court order supporting the family therapy and deprogramming.
  • The court should have a mechanism, like a Guardian Ad Litem, Parent Coordinator, Special Master or court staff member to monitor the alienating parent’s compliance to the court order. Courts must find sanctions for parents refusing to cooperate. One sanction against the obsessed alienator that can be considered is to increase the targeted parent’s parenting time with the children (thus, deceasing the obsessed alienator’s amount of time with the children).

Dealing with an obsessed alienator can be one of the most difficult and painful experiences you will have because you will feel powerless and it can last for years. What is most important is that you don’t add to the problem by getting caught up in the alienating cycle, even though it is often difficult to not lash out toward the alienating parent. Remember prevention is a must because reversing parental alienation syndrome is near impossible. Most courts don’t have an effective mechanism to handle these cases.

Continue reading What a Targeted Parent can do with a Obsessed Alienator

Parental alienation: ‘I was manipulated by my father’

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Parental alienation: ‘I was manipulated by my father’

“Emma”, now 14, was seven when her parents divorced. Over the next five years, she says, her father succeeded in turning her and her siblings against their mother.

“[He said my mum is] a liar, that everything that’s happened is her fault, that she doesn’t love us, that she’s been a bully towards us,” she tells the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire programme.

Emma’s experience is an example of so-called parental alienation – the deliberate manipulation of a child by one parent against the other parent during a divorce or separation.

Two years after their parents separated, Emma and her siblings went to live with their father.

She says he would deliberately block them from seeing their mother, saying she had “been out drinking the night before and had a hangover, so couldn’t be bothered to come [and visit them] any more”.

“We were just lied to,” Emma says. “With me only being nine, to the age of 12, I didn’t know [better].”


Find out more

The Victoria Derbyshire programme is broadcast on weekdays between 09:00 and 11:00 GMT on BBC Two and the BBC News channel.


The turning point for Emma came in 2013, when she received a text message from her mother saying she still loved her.

Emma says she sensed her father may have been hiding the truth, and asked to see her mother.

“He said, ‘No, if you carry on the way you’re behaving, you’ll be put in a foster home, as we won’t be able to look after you any more,'” she recalls.

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Emma decided to run away, on the second occasion managing to reach the home of an aunt, where she spoke, by phone, to her mother for the first time in years.

She now lives with her mother, and has cut all ties with her father.

“How can this man be a father, how can he look after a young child if he’s done this,” she says.

Calls for legislation

According to the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass), 5% of children involved in divorce or separation will experience some level of parental alienation.

In some countries, governments have put in place legislation to prevent such behaviour. In Mexico, parents guilty of alienation can receive a 15-year jail term, while in Italy it carries a fine.

The UK does not have legislation, but judges are starting to recognise parental alienation, leading to some children being removed from the offending parent.

Continue reading Parental alienation: ‘I was manipulated by my father’

Severe Sociopaths Oppose Parental Alienation Syndrome – Sick People Not In Touch With Reality

Severe Sociopaths Oppose Parental Alienation Syndrome – Sick People Not In Touch With Reality

Sometimes I wonder why such dysfunctional adults can be allowed to make decisions regarding children, but the secret to success for those who are parental abusers, (also known as “alienating parents”) is their appearance of being absolutely normal on the surface.

However, bubbling below the surface and now quite so well hidden is their true psychological profile, which psychological testing reveals. Often times they call themselves “protective parents” or “survivors” or “battered” and viciously blame the courts for turning children over to “abusers.” But when asked why the “abusive” parent is not in jail, the sociopath quickly describes “payoffs“, “bribes” and “court corruption” with “collusion” thrown in to save the “abuser” and to “ignore” the evidence. Also they are big into playing the “victim” role and believe that all men commit “domestic violence” just by looking at them.

Parental alienators will deliberately make up falsehoods, deceive, delay, and play the “victim” in custody proceedings and do so with a sly and manipulative cunning that is best described as sociopath behavior. Like Hitler and the Nazis, these sick individuals enjoy controlling others and “winning,” and creating an environment of hostility and bitterness. Although outwardly they may be seen as successful, charming and winning in the careers, “these ordinary people who have no conscience–no capacity to feel shame, guilt, or remorse–can do absolutely anything to other people without ever feeling guilty . . . These sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are cold as a snake and live to dominate and win.” from “The Sociopath Next Door” by Dr. Martha Stout. Dr. Stout estimates that 4% of our population can be described as sociopaths. And, she says that may be a conservative estimate.

Which means between 16 to 40 million Americans are seriously ill and can be classified Sociopaths..

Continue reading Severe Sociopaths Oppose Parental Alienation Syndrome – Sick People Not In Touch With Reality

Parental Alienation: Parent-Child reunification after alienation

a teenaged boy stands next to his father
a teenaged boy stands next to his father

Parental Alienation: Parent-Child reunification after alienation

By

The final installment of our three-part series on parental alienation examines programs, services, and interventions that combat alienation and seek to reunite estranged parents and their children while addressing the significant clinical challenges in working with alienating parents.

Children and parents who have undergone forced separation from each other in the absence of abuse, including cases of parental alienation, are highly subject to post-traumatic stress, and reunification efforts in these cases should proceed carefully and with sensitivity. Alienated children seem to have a secret wish for someone to call their bluff, compelling them to reconnect with the parent they claim to hate; despite strongly held positions of alignment, alienated children want nothing more than to be given the permission and freedom to love and be loved by both parents (Baker, 2010). Yet the influence of the alienating parent is too strong to withstand, and children’s fear that the alienating parent may fall apart or withdraw his or her love holds them back. Research has shown that many alienated children can transform quickly from refusing or staunchly resisting the rejected parent to being able to show and receive love from that parent, followed by an equally swift shift back to the alienated position when back in the orbit of the alienating parent (Fidler and Bala, 2010). Thus while children’s stated wishes regarding parental residence and contact in contested custody after divorce should be considered, they should not be determinative in cases of parental alienation.

Reunification efforts subsequent to prolonged absence should be undertaken with service providers with specialized expertise in parental alienation reunification. A number of models of intervention have been developed, the best-known being Warshak’s (2010) Family Bridges Program, an educative and experiential program focused on multiple goals: allowing the child to have a healthy relationship with both parents, removing the child from the parental conflict, and encouraging child autonomy, multiple perspective-taking, and critical thinking. Sullivan’s Overcoming Barriers Family Camp (Sullivan et al, 2010), which combines psycho-educational and clinical intervention within an environment of milieu therapy, is aimed toward the development of an agreement regarding the sharing of parenting time and a written aftercare plan. Friedlander and Walters’ (2010) Multimodal Family Intervention provides differential interventions for situations of parental alignment, alienation, enmeshment, and estrangement. All of these programs emphasize the clinical significance of children coming to regard their parents as equally valued and important in their lives while helping enmeshed children relinquish their protective role toward their alienating parents.

 

Continue reading Parental Alienation: Parent-Child reunification after alienation

How Can You Help Counteract Parental Alienation?

How Can You Help Counteract Parental Alienation?

April 25th, 2011 was the 6th annual recognition by many states of Parental Alienation Awareness Day.  It’s as good a time as any to share some helpful information to help you to counteract the effects of parental alienation that so frequently rears its ugly head during high conflict child custody proceedings.

When parents split up, be they married or unmarried, if the child custody situation goes from zero-to-high-conflict, there will most assuredly be efforts by one parent (and sometimes both parents) to engage in parental alienation.  Parental alienation is a parent’s efforts to brainwash or poison the children’s minds against the targeted parent through various means.  (You can learn a lot more from:  our parental alienation teleconference.)

Typical methods of engaging in parental alienation will include one or more of the following, and it’s usually more:

  • Interfering with custody (custodial interference)
  • Tell lies about the father/mother to the children
  • False accusations of abuse against the parent involving the children
  • Denying or severely curtailing phone contact with the children
  • Speaking poorly of the target parent to the children
  • Speaking poorly of the target parent to others in front of the children
  • Convincing the children that the other parent is “no longer needed”

The effects of parental alienation can be damaging to children, extremely difficult to reverse if left unaddressed, and forever impact the relationship between the targeted parent and the children who have been so exploited.

How can you counteract the effects of a parental alienation effort on your children?

Don’t be a parental alienator! This is very important as over the course of time, it will be abundantly clear which parent was the one who was speaking terribly of the other.  If you continue to foster good relations even with a high-conflict parent during child custody proceedings, it will be helpful to you over the long haul, particularly when dealing with parental alienation and in conjunction with other efforts.

Continue reading How Can You Help Counteract Parental Alienation?

How Can One Overturn the Programming of a Child Against a Parent?

How Can One Overturn the Programming of a Child Against a Parent?

Ludwig.F. Lowenstein Ph.D

Southern England Psychological Services

2005

Abstract

What will follow will in some cases make a considerable amount of sense. It will consist of viewing the specific approach to dealing with the problem with some concern since emotional factors come into play which are not typically used in any therapeutic approaches otherwise. There are several ingredients necessary in order to reverse parental alienation, or what is often called Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). We will use one or the other of these terms interchangeably as there is still some uncertainty as to whether the syndrome, which has not yet been accepted by the American Psychological Association, is relevant. Certainly, parental alienation does occur and has been accepted.

How Can One Overturn the Programming of a Child Against the Parent?

The ingredients necessary for the therapist to have are: determination, resilience, frustration, resourcefulness and single mindedness. This is the only way that parental alienation can be reversed.

Few expert witnesses, be they psychiatrists or psychologists, take on cases such as parental alienation. This is because the methods which often need to be employed for overturning a child’s animosity towards an alienated parent are strewn with dangers! It provides a minefield of visible and hidden dangers to the therapist to deal with such problems.

The chief dangers are the child and the alienator, who are opposed to the efforts of the therapist and will do almost anything and everything to sabotage the efforts of the therapist. They attend mediation sessions and assessment sessions merely because it has been ordered by the Court. They will go so far as to discredit the Expert and the manner in which he works in order to seek to change the thinking and behaviour of the alienated child. Whatever happens, one side or the other will be critical of the therapist. Behind the main antagonists, and opposed to the efforts of the parental alienation therapist, are legions of family members on the alienators side, Solicitors, even Guardians ad Litem who are frequently very child-centred. The Court itself may also believe totally what the child has to say about the alienated parent.

The Court and the thinking of others is likely to be as follows: “Why would a child say such things about her father or mother if it were not true?” In this of course they are totally wrong in their thinking, unless such views can be confirmed by other, truly independent sources. The therapist is in the middle, attempting to discover three important aspects:

  1. Are the allegations of abuse about a parent true, false or exaggerated?
  2. If untrue, and only if untrue, can the thinking and behaviour of the alienated child be reversed? The alienator is unlikely to change in their views towards the programmed parent. Hence work with the alienator is not likely to bear much success as many have found.
  3. If the allegations against the alienated parent are true such as when true sexual, emotional or physical abuse has occurred then the Expert witness therapist should not be involved further, except under very specific circumstances.

Continue reading How Can One Overturn the Programming of a Child Against a Parent?

Alec Baldwin on Divorce, Children and Reconciliation

Alec Baldwin on Divorce, Children and Reconciliation

By KETURAH GRAY

Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger’s cutthroat custody battle over their 12-year-old daughter, Ireland, has made international headlines for years. The couple divorced in 2002 after nine years of marriage, but the vicious accusations on both sides continued, culminating in the infamous 2007 voice-mail message in which Baldwin berated his daughter.

In an interview with ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer, Baldwin, 50, spoke about his lengthy court struggles with Basinger, 54, and said that when the voice mail was released, it brought him to the brink of suicide.

“I used to pray to God every night. I would get in bed, and I would say, please, don’t let me wake up in the morning,” Baldwin said. “I began to think about what little town I would repair to in order to commit suicide. And then you, obviously you say, well, what would that do to my child if I killed myself? Me, I really didn’t care about me.”

After the media storm and new round of custody litigation that followed the voice mail release, Baldwin nearly broke his own promise to never give up on his daughter. Deterred by the barriers that he believes his ex-wife imposed on his relationship with Ireland, Baldwin said he almost lost the will to keep fighting. Continue reading Alec Baldwin on Divorce, Children and Reconciliation

Recognizing Parental Alienation Syndrome

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Recognizing Parental Alienation Syndrome

Continue reading Recognizing Parental Alienation Syndrome

Believed to be in country, Muhammad Riduan skips out on child conversion hearing

Believed to be in country, Muhammad Riduan skips out on child conversion hearing

By Ida Lim

KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 15 — Muslim convert Muhammad Riduan Abdullah was absent again from a court hearing today that was to decide the validity of his unilateral and covert conversion to Islam of his three children with his Hindu ex-wife.

His lawyer Hatim Musa told reporters that he has not been able to get in touch with his client, but believes Muhammad Riduan to still be in the country.

“I actually tried to contact him but I can’t get him. I tried to contact him through third party,” Hatim told reporters when met outside the Federal Court.

The lawyer did not not disclose the identity of the “third party” and added that he had no knowledge of his client’s whereabouts.

He also did not respond when asked why his client failed to show up for the court hearing..

But when asked if he thinks Muhammad Riduan is still in Malaysia, Hatim said: “I think so”.

A warrant of arrest has been issued for Muhammad Riduan after he failed to return his youngest child, daughter Prasana Diksa whom he snatched away from her mother, M. Indira Gandhi, seven years ago.

Hatim also said he believes the girl, now eight, is attending school.

Yesterday, the Federal Court said Muhammad Riduan should show up in court today to hear his ex-wife’s challenge of his conversion of their children’s religion without her knowledge and consent. Continue reading Believed to be in country, Muhammad Riduan skips out on child conversion hearing

Parenting Alienated Children: Dealing with Parental Alienation Syndrome

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Parenting Alienated Children: Dealing with Parental Alienation Syndrome

By Mary Wilder

 

“Dad, why don’t you just leave us alone?” The letter fell to the floor as my husband groaned and buried his face in his hands. His heart was breaking—his children were refusing to spend time with him. It had been 18 months since we had seen them and contact with them was becoming more difficult: Mom said the children were unavailable to come to the phone; we had evidence of mail being kept from them; visitation was being withheld.

Sadly, this scene is repeated in many homes where divorce has occurred. Seemingly out of the blue, children who had previously enjoyed a happy, loving, secure relationship with dad or mom become resistant, withdrawn, critical and openly hostile. The phenomenon is known as Parental Alienation Syndrome and its effects 90% of all divorced families in the US (when broadly defined).¹

Parental Alienation Syndrome occurs when one parent intentionally alienates a child or children from the other parent. The alienation is systematic and persistent and can be as mild as an occasional sarcastic comment (“You mean your dad actually parted with some of his money?”) to moderate (mother refuses to list father as a contact on school records or provide school pictures) or severe (“You are never to mention your mother in this house!”). The syndrome was first identified by Richard Gardner in 1985. His research revealed the alienators are predominantly mothers; however, one or both parents may engage in alienation.

Whether perpetrated by father or mother, the effect on the child(ren) is devastating and can include long-term depression, uncontrollable guilt, isolation, hostility, and ego and identity dysfunction. Physical manifestations may include headaches, vomiting and loss of sleep when the child is faced with the prospect of an upcoming visit with the alienated parent. During adulthood, these alienated children may succumb to alcoholism or drug abuse, have difficulty holding jobs, and be unable to maintain healthy relationships. The effect on the alienated parent is no less devastating. The anguish of rejection, concern for the emotional welfare of the child(ren) and the potential bitterness aroused against the alienating parent can consume the entire family unless handled prayerfully and properly.

While PAS involves a complex psychological process, the symptoms in children are relatively easy to identify and distinguish. They include, but are not limited to:

  • The child, for unexplained or unfounded reasons, states that he/she wants nothing more to do with the alienated parent.
  • The child shows no mixed emotions (ambivalence) whatsoever toward his/her parents. When asked, he/she will describe one parent as all good and the other as all bad…

Continue reading Parenting Alienated Children: Dealing with Parental Alienation Syndrome

Parental Alienation in Older Children

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Parental Alienation in Older Children

by Joan Kloth-Zanard
Life Coach and Counselor
www.KlothConsulting.com

Don’t believe what they say: that Parental Alienation cannot happen to older children, that it’s just an oxymoron.
Parental Alienation is the act of one parent deliberately undermining the relationship between the children and the other parent to the point of creating a hostile relationship and thus alienation of the children from the other parent. Another way to look at this is alienation of affection, which is one of the basic human needs discussed at length by Maslow in his Hierarchy of Needs. It is a
serious form of psychological abuse, and it is very dangerous because it occurs internally and, thus, is harder to treat. Unlike physical abuse where the scars and wounds are on the outside, Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is so deep inside that unlocking the key to it takes years of treatment and unconditional love.

Though PAS is primarily seen in high-conflict divorces, it also occurs in intact families. And though it usually begins in early childhood, this is not always the case, and does not mean that older children and even adults cannot be alienated from their other parent. In fact, PAS is often described as a cult form of control over others. In this respect, we can say that the perpetrator or
alienator brainwashes and programs the innocent victims to hate their other parent/family members. In much the way as the leaders of cults, like Jonestown, these perpetrators are able to take a person and convert him or her into the alienator’s way of thinking and to renounce all ties with the victim’s families and friends. If a cult leader can do this to total strangers who have no familial ties to them, then it is safe to say that it would be that much easier for a parent to do this to his or her children, no matter what age they are.

Parents and family have a much stronger bind or hold upon children. In fact, a child, no matter what age, would be more likely to listen to and believe his or her parent than a total stranger. Therefore, any judge, counselor, agency or attorney claiming that an older child could not be alienated from his or her other parent, is actually stating that cults, like the Branch Davidians, could not possibly happen. In these non-believers’ minds, only children can be brainwashed and programmed. This defies logic, as it is a proven fact that cults do brainwash people and program them, and most of these cult followers are adults. In other words, if a total stranger can turn a person against his or her family, then a parent can do it even more easily, no matter the age of the child.

Continue reading Parental Alienation in Older Children

Parental Alienation is a Stalker. Learn How to Gain Awareness and Stop the Abuse

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Parental Alienation is a Stalker. Learn How to Gain Awareness and Stop the Abuse

Parents who have become victims of parental alienation often don’t see it coming.  Parental alienation, unlike other forms of abuse, isn’t always clear. You don’t pick up your child and see a parental alienation scar or bruise.

Your child rarely outwardly tells you what the other parent has said or done. Even more mature children, including teenagers, are hit hard by alienation without understanding what the other parent is doing. This sometimes affects a child’s custody preference and is used in Court. That is what awareness of parental alienation so difficult.

Parental alienation is a stalker.

It does not immediately physically strike you. It does not scream, “Help! I am being alienated.” It is a penetrating form of psychological abuse that permeates through a child’s heart and mind. And that is where you must pick up the subtle clues the alienating parent and the children leave for you. That is where your vigilance and diligence becomes essential.

Recognizing the alienation before it takes complete control may be the single most important factor in stopping it. It stops alienation from becoming a “syndrome.” All of the court orders in the world may not save your child if your child has been completely alienated from you and wants nothing to do with you. The amount of therapy involved as well as time and effort that you must undertake in the most extreme cases can be too much to bear for some parents.

Continue reading Parental Alienation is a Stalker. Learn How to Gain Awareness and Stop the Abuse

Success Stories in Overcoming Severe Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome

Success Stories in Overcoming Severe Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome

Jacki’s Story:

Dr. Darnall:

I wrote to you several weeks ago sharing my story of how my ex has used parental alienation. It is amazing that your description of an “obsessed alienator” totally describes my ex husband. He has every one of your characteristics. It enrages me how court systems do not recognize this when dealing with children of divorce.

I have good news that I wanted to share with you. My sixteen-year old son that I told you about called me this past Sunday night. (Remember, I have not seen him for two years.) He told me that he wanted to come visit me. I was in total shock. I asked him why, and he explained that he has been doing a lot of thinking. He knows that he is very confused and not sure why he wants to come. He told me that he was scared to tell his father because he thought he would be mad. Jerry, my son, said that his daddy was all right with his decision. My ex-husband is not all right with the decision. I recently received papers from his attorney where they had filed contempt charges against me. In November when the last court order was entered, I was ordered to pay $2500 to my ex’s attorney. (By the way, my ex was the one that
initially started the last court proceedings, stating that my husband and I are unfit, et. alcoholics, and drug addicts.) I, in turn, filed papers for custody because of the emotional abuse. Anyway, his attorney is trying to stop visitation because of the monies that I still owe him.

The reason that I am writing is to let you know that perseverance does pay off. I have continually, for the past seven years, always let my children know that I love and miss them. Over the past two years, I have also continued my correspondence and telephone calls to my 16-year old. I have spoken with him on his birthdays, holidays and almost every week. I never sent my other two children something without sending Jerry something. He has never been forgotten and he knows that I love him.

Jerry will be coming up to see me this April. I know that it is the beginning of the rebuilding of our relationship. I told him that I knew that his decision was a very difficult one, but that I was so proud of him for trying to discover his own answers to the questions he has. My ex used Jerry the most and I know, of my three children, he suffers the most.

Although my story is not what you might call a “Success story,” to me, it is. Fighting the Georgia court systems is not only discouraging; but also, sickening. I can remember sitting in the Judge’s chambers two years ago and being told by the Judge, “I don’t care what you believe, Ms. Smith, your children DO NOT like you and do not want to visit you. “How is that for a Judge’s professional opinion? Fortunately, I kept fighting and having hope. There were many times when I did not want to face another day and prayed to God to just let me die. With the help of a wonderful woman, (who, by the way, is my therapist) I have been strengthened by the pain I endured. It is a strange thing to have to experience such horrific pain, to enjoy the pleasures in life. Years ago, I would have been so happy just to have seen a good report card from Jerry. Now, I am ecstatic because I get to look at him and touch him. Yes, I do feel my story is a true success story, and, perhaps you will find it in a bookstore one day.

For now, I look forward to seeing my son walk off that airplane: but, I have learned to take one day at a time. And if, by chance, I find a day of sadness, I know, “This to shall pass.” I hope you have a wonderful day, keep up the good work, and as always thanks for listening. Please feel free to share my story with any of your patients who feel that they cannot make it just one more day.

Jacki

My comment:

Jacki made some important points in her letter. First, she never gave up. This is important and the point Jacki was making. Many times, years later, kids realize how much they miss their other parent. Sometimes, they will contact the other parent just because they are curious. Regardless of the reasons, many alienated parents end up with loving relationships with their children after years the alienation. In fact, the alienation may backfire where the child feels bitter and resentful against the custodial parent for not being allowed to have a loving relationship with both parents. The second point Jacki made was the importance of acknowledging birthdays and Christmas, even if you don’t see your children. Let them know you are alive and care. Don’t disappear. If you think the custodial parent is not giving your children cards and gifts, sent them certified with a signed receipt or arrange for someone to make the deliveries. The last point I want to make is that Jacki’s story is an example where the male or father is the alienator. Alienation is not something that only women do to men. Men too can alienate.

  Continue reading Success Stories in Overcoming Severe Alienation and Parental Alienation Syndrome

Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind

Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind

Most child psychiatrists have encountered warring separated or divorced parents, where one or even both are determined to exclude the other from contact with the children. This is accomplished by convincing the children that the other parent is disinterested, drunk, dangerous or otherwise unfit to parent them. This is a minefield for the unwary psychiatrist, replete with misinterpretations, mistaken assumptions, or downright lies. Great difficulties can be encountered with children who have been thoroughly brainwashed and programmed. They are completely unaware of, and unable to comprehend, how they have been misled. This book promised a better understanding of this problem, and some guidelines for management.

The forty subjects were recruited on the internet and by word of mouth. They were self-selected; people who believed that one parent had alienated them from the other. The interviews followed the semi-structured protocol often used in qualitative research. Subjects ranged in age from 19 to 67 years; 25 were female and 15 male. The alienating parents described consisted of 34 mothers and 6 fathers. In most cases the subjects’ parents were separated and divorced, but several described the process of alienation in an intact but extremely dysfunctional family. The author claims to be debunking myths about Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), emphasising that the syndrome is complex, and not just a matter of hostile, bitter ex-wives seeking revenge on the men who abandoned them. She identifies three patterns: “the narcissistic mother in the divorced family,” (p. 23–29) “the narcissistic mother in the intact family” (p. 29–32) and “the rejecting/abusive alienating parent” (p. 32–34). The agenda of debunking myths could have been better served by using the term narcissistic parent, as one of the six fathers fell in a narcissistic group and another had a mixed pattern.

Common strategies used by the alienating parent were: badmouthing; limiting the other parent and their extended family’s contact with the children; withdrawing love or getting angry at the child; telling the child that their other parent did not love them, forcing the child to chose between parents; insisting that the other parent was dangerous; discussing adult relationships with the child; avoiding mention and removing photos of the other parent; forcing child to reject the other parent; limiting contact with the extended family; belittling the other parent; creating conflict; cultivating dependency; and throwing out letters and gifts.

Continue reading Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind

McKenzie Magazine: An interview with a Victim of Parental Alienation

McKenzie Magazine: An interview with a Victim of Parental Alienation

McKenzie: Now an adult mother, Sarah was alienated from her father by her abusive mother and did not see him from the age of 7 to 21. Julius Hinks interviewed Sarah and she spoke of her experiences from childhood onwards, describing the damaging effects of parental alienation, and also of not dealing with it correctly. Her message to parents is “don’t ever give up” and her story pays inarguable tribute to this.

How old were you when your parents separated and can you remember what your relationship was like with your father?

I was seven, and we got sent to our auntie’s in Mapplethorpe for six months while they were sorting the marriage out – supposedly. One day out of the blue my uncle and my mother turned up in a car, got us and went down to London and that was it.

My relationship with my father beforehand is difficult to remember. He was a milkman. I can remember him coming home on his milk float. I can remember going to the park with him. We always used to have fun. It was happy. It’s when I look back after he left and my step-dad moved in that there were bad times. So I have better memories when my dad was there.

What was your mother’s attitude to your father after they separated?

This is where my mind starts to get muddled because we were told of all kinds of things: “your dad used to hit you”; “your dad used to do this…” You don’t remember any of this happening but you start to believe it because otherwise why would anyone tell their children that?

Then – that was it. No contact. She took the relationship away out of spite against him. She had the biggest weapon of all and she used us against him.

What do you think you missed out on?…

Continue reading McKenzie Magazine: An interview with a Victim of Parental Alienation

The Impact of Parental Alienation on Parents

Edward Kruk Ph.D.

Co-Parenting After Divorce

The Impact of Parental Alienation on Parents

Post-traumatic Stress in the Rupture of Parent-Child Relationships

Most alienated parents are non-custodial fathers, and engaging these fathers is a significant challenge, as clinical and research literature has described the lack of “fit” between fathers and therapeutic agents as emanating from two sources: the characteristics of men and fathers themselves (their resistance to counseling and therapy), and aspects of the therapeutic process (which have failed to successfully engage fathers). Patterns of traditional gender-role socialization directing men toward self-sufficiency and control, independent problem-solving and emotional restraint have largely worked against fathers being able to acknowledge personal difficulties and request help. A fear of self-disclosure and a feeling of disloyalty to one’s family in exposing family problems are not uncommon; a fear of losing control over one’s life and the need to present an image of control or a “facade of coping” in the form of exterior calm, strength, and rationality, despite considerable inner turmoil, characterize many fathers. Professional service providers do not always consider such psychological obstacles to therapy and thus do not address fathers’ unique needs. The research on divorced fathers is clear about their most pressing need: their continued meaningful involvement with their children, as active parents. The lack of recognition of this primary need is the main reason for therapists’ lack of success in engaging alienated fathers.

Above all, the key to engaging alienated parents is to validate their parental identity, and combine advocacy efforts with counseling focused on enhancing their role as active and responsible parents. Human service professionals have been notably absent in the politics of reform with respect to the issue of legal child custody, yet they are desperately needed as allies in policy reform efforts. An important role of human service professionals in supporting alienated parents is through such advocacy and activism, challenging the custodial/non-custodial and residential/non-residential parent dichotomy and advancing the cause of co-parenting.

Continue reading The Impact of Parental Alienation on Parents

No More Secrets And Lies A STORY OF A FATHER WHO LOST CHILDREN TO PARENTAL ALIENATION

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A STORY OF A FATHER WHO LOST CHILDREN TO PARENTAL ALIENATION

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental Alienation is a form of brainwashing usually done by an ex-spouse to make children hate and reject a parent for no rational reason. It’s considered irrational rejection of the parent by the child because the reasons for the rejection are usually weak, frivolous, and absurd. Parental alienation is often permanent, is severely damaging to children, is very misunderstood, and usually only happens to good parents. It gets confused with custody and divorce but it’s not that.
Parental alienation is a group of behaviors that interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. Most often accompanying high conflict marriages, separation or divorce. These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided. Parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting deprives children of their right to be loved by and show love for both of their parents. These selfish, vindictive and malicious actions by the alienating parent (the parent who is responsible for the manipulations and bullying) is considered a form of child abuse – as the alienating tactics used on the children are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, and rob children of their sense of security and safety. Most people do not know about Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting until they experience it. Parental Alienation Awareness is put forth to help raise awareness about this growing problem of mental and emotional child abuse seen mostly in cases of divorce or separation.

Continue reading No More Secrets And Lies A STORY OF A FATHER WHO LOST CHILDREN TO PARENTAL ALIENATION

Protecting Your Clients in Parental Alienation Cases When the Courts Don’t

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Protecting Your Clients in Parental Alienation Cases When the Courts Don’t

Attorneys should no longer tolerate parental alienation, because of the damage it does to children and the cycle of abuse it supports.

By Plinio J. Garcia, CEO & Consultant, Major Family Services

A very prestigious attorney in Century City recently told me that sometimes the family court system in Los Angeles rewards the behavior of alienating parents with legal and physical custody of their children because it is in “the best interest of the child to stop the tug-of-war between parents.” This counsel was trying to explain to me why we sometimes have to “give up” on our children to minimize the psychological damage of alienation. I was shocked! How can a parent give up on a child, knowing that the other parent is traumatizing him or her? Attorneys should no longer tolerate parental alienation, because of the damage it does to children and the cycle of abuse it supports. Provided below is practical advice for lawyers who feel ethically compelled to protect innocent children from parental alienation.

Continue reading Protecting Your Clients in Parental Alienation Cases When the Courts Don’t

What is Parental Alienation and What Can You Do About it? – Part I

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What is Parental Alienation and What Can You Do About it? – Part I

What is parental alienation? If you asked a psychologist, therapist and family law lawyer, you may get different definitions. Our California child custody lawyers have seen our share of parents attempting to alienate a child or children from the other parent.

Our lawyers have successfully represented parents who fought against alienation of their children and have, on extreme cases, secured court orders to take custody completely away from the alienating parent.

What has that experience taught us about parental alienation?

Quite a bit actually.

Alienation, by definition, means to isolate one thing from another. In the case of parental alienation, it means steps (often planned and malicious ones) a parent takes to isolate the child or children from the other parent through words and conduct and to create a division, estrangement and even hostility between the victimized parent and child.

167 Red Flags or Examples of Parental Alienation

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167 Red Flags or Examples of Parental Alienation

The Alienating parent will exhibit specific behaviors, signs and symptoms than those of the children and the target parent. The following examples of Alienators behavior are called Red Flags. The more of these a parent exhibits or enacts, the higher the probability of PAS occurring. Below is a list of over 150 most often used tactics to alienate children from a parent. A score of 10 or more is an indicator of PAS.

1. Impeding with visitation, despite orders

2. Denigrating the other parent in front of anyone who will listen, including the children, as well as calling the TP or step-parent derogatory names in front of the child.

3. Filing allegations of abuse while constantly dragging the ex into court for child support or alimony. (Note: A truly abused individual wants to have nothing to do with the abuser, making face-to-face confrontation out of the question..

4. Stopping any contact with the children and the ex’s extended family or friends who disagree with them

5. Believing that they are above the law, and that all orders/laws were made for everyone else but them.

6. Impeding Communication with the children, including blocking access to school records and meetings and events.

7. Grilling the children about their visit, asking the children to spy or collect evidence.

8. Refusing visitation because the ex spouse has been unable to afford the child support or not made a payment.

9. Statements of constant hatred and vengeance about the ex-spouse

10.Refusal to disclose their home address

11. Refusal to supply or keep the other parent in the loop on medical issues, educational issues, events pertaining to the child/ren and so on.

12. Continually referring to the child as their own children and not the spouses.

Continue reading 167 Red Flags or Examples of Parental Alienation

Three Types of Parental Alienators

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Three Types of Parental Alienators

Alienation and the degree of severity

Parental alienation varies in the degree of severity, as seen in the behaviors and attitudes of both the parents and the children. The severity can be of such little consequence as a parent occasionally calling the other parent a derogatory name; or it could be as overwhelming as the parent’s campaign of consciously destroying the children’s relationship with the other parent. Most children are able to brush off a parent’s offhand comment about the other parent that is made in frustration. On the other hand, children may not be able to resist a parent’s persistent campaign of hatred and alienation.

Parents must be cautioned not to conclude that all parent-child relationship problems are caused by alienating behavior. When there is true abuse, it is natural that a parent will feel protective towards the children. This is not alienation. On the other hand, the parent is expected to cooperate with investigators and consider alternative explanations that would explain the allegation. Alternative explanations explaining a serious parent-child problem can include a failure to bond, punitive punishment, insensitivity to the child’s needs or a failure to understand development issues. Sometime a competent evaluation is needed to determine how alienation may contribute to the problems between the targeted parent and the children. This is a complex process that requires a court order and the participation of both parents and the children.

Who Uses Alienation?

We are frequently asked the question if someone other than a parent can alienate the child? The answer is an emphatic yes. Grandparents, stepparents, family friends and even attorneys and therapists can alienate or contribute to the alienation.

Frequently an alienated parent will surround themselves with people that support alienation, believing that the child needs to be protected or saved from the targeted parent.

Learning to Recognize Types of Alienation

Preventing or stopping alienation must begin with learning how to recognize the three types of alienation because the symptoms and strategies for combating each are different. The three types should not be considered a “diagnosis,” but instead are a heuristic (i.e. considering possibilities) way of understanding alienation.

Three Types of Alienation… Continue reading Three Types of Parental Alienators

The Parental Alienation Syndrome: An Analysis of Sixteen Selected Cases

The Parental Alienation Syndrome: An Analysis of Sixteen Selected Cases

ABSTRACT. This study analyzed sixteen cases which appeared to meet Dr. Richard Gardner’s criteria for parental alienation syndrome as set forth in his 1987 book. These cases showed a wide diversity of characteristics but Gardner’s criteria were useful in differentiating these cases from other post-divorce difficulties. Traditional interventions were ineffective in altering the alienation.

Gardner (1985) has described cases of intense rejection of a parent by children after divorce which he referred to as “parental alienation syndrome” (PAS). He defined this syndrome as a disturbance occurring in children who are preoccupied with depreciation and criticism of a parent and denigration that is unjustified and/or exaggerated (Gardner, 1987). He describes these children as “obsessed with hatred of a parent.”

The “parental alienation syndrome” has rapidly become a focus of controversy within the mental health and the legal profession. It has been raised, as well as attacked, in cases involving allegations of domestic violence, parental substance abuse, and child sexual abuse, often strongly polarizing various mental health professionals involved in the cases. Advocacy groups for mothers, fathers, and sexual abuse victims have often been recruited into the conflict.

Very little is described in the literature about children who reject parents following marital separation. Jacobs (1988)describes a case in which five children rejected their father, apparently in response to their mother’s extreme narcissistic rage. Wallerstein (1984) noted one child at the ten year follow-up, who rejected her mother, with whom she was living, after her father’s attempt to change custody failed. Fidler (1988) also noted one case of a child who refused to see the noncustodial parent among the sample of 76 children referred to a family court clinic.

More common in the literature is the failure to mention a child’s rejection of a parent as one of the outcomes of divorce. Pearson and Thoennes (1990) noted a relatively high frequency of no or sporadic overnight visits with a non-residential parent. In 40% of the maternal sole custody and 30% of the paternal sole custody, the children had no overnight visits with a non-residential parent. In joint legal custody, 7% of the children living with their mothers and 20% of the children living with their fathers reported no overnights with the other parent. Although this is a relatively high frequency, the authors made no mention of the children’s attitudes about their parents or the reason for no visits. Kalter et al. (1989) did not report any cases of the child rejecting a parent in their sample of 56 recruited pairs of children and mothers. Similarly, Oppenheimer et al. (1990) noted no cases in their sample of 46 elementary aged children, all living with their mothers, who rejected either parent. Review articles by Zaslow (1988) and by Heatherington et at. (1989) make no reference to parent alienation or to children rejecting a parent as an outcome following divorce. Continue reading The Parental Alienation Syndrome: An Analysis of Sixteen Selected Cases

Why Parental Alienation is the Act of an Emotionally Abusive Bully

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Why Parental Alienation is the Act of an Emotionally Abusive Bully

Are you and your ex going through a difficult divorce or break up? Do you worry that she or he is turning your child(ren) against you? Are you shocked and confused by how your once warm and affectionate relationship with your kid(s) has become distant and hostile?

Parental alienation is no joke. It’s a form of child abuse. The custodial parent is usually the mother and it’s typically the custodial parent who engages in parental alienation. However, there are men who also engage in parental alienation.

Original research found women to be the perpetrators of this abusive behavior in 90% of reported cases. Recent research indicates both genders equally engage in parental alienation. It’s difficult to know the exact figures because of under-reporting, false accusations and the positive bias toward mothers that’s rampant in most family courts. Continue reading Why Parental Alienation is the Act of an Emotionally Abusive Bully

The Vicious Alienator’s Game Plan

The Vicious Alienator’s Game Plan

Abstract & Summary

This article describes the motives and demeanour of the vicious and determined alienator in preventing, by whatever means, good contact and a good relationship with the absent, non custodial parent. Two illustrations are provided. One dealing with the father and the other with the mother as the alienator. A two-step approach is presented in how to deal with the implacable hostile and non-cooperative alienator. The importance of the expert witness working together with the court is required, as well as the court acting decisively to limit the “game plan” of the alienator is emphasised.

 

The Vicious Alienator’s Game Plan

Whether the alienator is the mother or the father, most determined alienators threaten the judicial system under whose aegis they seek revenge against the absent parent. They are totally dedicated towards shutting out or eclipsing the non custodial parent from contact with the children. The reason for this is due to the pathological and viciousness they feel towards a parent who at one time had a close and loving relationship with the child/children.

Such action by the alienator is most cruel and unjust. Everett (2006) describes this well: “..as a destructive family pathology because it attributes a quality of evil without cause or foundation to a parent who once nurtured and protected the same child that has now turned against her or him.”

It is vital that courts be aware of what the “game plan” is of the alienator, and why they carry out the actions they do. Such alienators are also extremely crafty and are aware of what courts are likely to do. Only in extremely rare cases do courts act both justly and decisively when, after a prolonged undermining alienation and failure to respect the court ordered contact, the court will change the custody of the children. This change of custody will only occur after a prolonged and sustained period of going against court ordered contact arrangements.

Sometimes, even when this occurs, judges are reluctant to change the custody of children because of the “short term” concerns of this decision and the impact this may have on the children. The Judiciary is rarely concerned about the long term results on children who have been emotionally abused by a vindictive custodial parent. Two illustrations will follow, one involving a father, the other a mother. The author is aware that there is concern in many women’s organizations that the diagnosis of parental alienation tends to favour the father and often vilifies the mother. This is because there is a ratio of approximately 3:1 with mothers more often being the alienator than fathers. Both alienators whether fathers of mothers consciously employ similar tactics. They are:… Continue reading The Vicious Alienator’s Game Plan

A THERAPIST’S VIEW OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME

A THERAPIST’S VIEW OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME

Cases in which a child is resisting contact with a parent may or may not fit Gardner’s theory of parental Alienation Syndrome, which emphasizes the psychopathology of the “alienating” parent. Explanations may also include the child’s coping with intense conflict and the “rejected” parent’s skill with the child. Whatever the cause, improvement usually involves legal and therapeutic intervention.

Richard Gardner made a very important contribution to the field of family law with the theory of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS).(1) He alerted the legal system that children’s statements about rejecting one parent may result from overt or covert manipulation by the other parent. He gave clear and specific recommendations about a combination of legal and therapeutic interventions, the most important of which was the need for a court order for continued contact between parent and child. The underlying message is that problems between parent and child should be addressed head on, not avoided by cutting off the relationship. Despite the important contribution of PAS, there are still questions about how much it applies in cases when a child rejects a parent and how to help these families who are difficult to treat in psychotherapy and repeatedly show up in the courts because of their relationship problems. Continue reading A THERAPIST’S VIEW OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME

4 TACTICS FOR FIGHTING PARENTAL ALIENATION

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4 TACTICS FOR FIGHTING PARENTAL ALIENATION

Parental Alienation is defined as “a social dynamic when a child expresses unjustified hatred or unreasonably strong dislike of one parent, making access by the rejected parent difficult or impossible. “

Father’s that are the target of Parental Alienation face a plethora of challenges. Overcoming those challenges can be overwhelming and leave fathers uncertain of their options for maintaining a relationship with their children. Continue reading 4 TACTICS FOR FIGHTING PARENTAL ALIENATION